An Eastern Kentucky Boy's Death Is Shining Hard And Bright In His Chest

by Zack Kouns

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1.	Lost and Lonesome Heart 03:20	lyrics	buy track
Lost and lonesome heart Is it your weight that I bear But it's been so long Since I even noticed you there Do you remember that dog I found in the street? Do you remember the smell Because of the heat? That bloated old dog Lying dead in the street No one had the heart to clean him up He was too symbolic, to bittersweet I just had to turn away July afternoon before the rain I didn't treasure my sorrow I hadn't learned to bear my pain Sky quiet and dark Clouds gather from the west You could still see my death Shining hard and bright in my chest
2.	Church By The Middle School 02:38	lyrics	buy track
Christ doesn't look divine in this painting He looks sad to be disfigured by His humanity Abandoning Himself in the garden Crying His bitter tears all alone Surely then He must have known That existence is a sour, unexplainable miraculous mystery Now He's hanging from a pole In a church by the middle school And they'll tear Him down And feed him to the dogs
3.	Boy Who Has Leukemia 04:07	lyrics	buy track
Pressed against the fevered white lips of the boy who has leukemia behind the curtain on a stage Just like you who doesn't have the body of an adult female You watching me disappear in and out, always away from myself Retiring to the silence that I crave I needed to connect more deeply to love So I had to renounce our hearts But, it was right for you to desire and be desired I examine my libido I locate its cruel and distinct defects My defects are poetry My defects have always been poetry
4.	Illinois 04:29	lyrics	buy track
When we were driving through Illinois You were putting your makeup on in the rear view mirror You said "I can't believe we're so far away from home" Driving you to the hospital You just had an overdose Calling your mother on the phone Tell her that her little girl is slipping away
5.	Brother, Lead Me Home 05:17	lyrics	buy track
My older brother was shot to death in a bar when I was 14 years old. Later that year I had a dream that we were passing on a staircase. In my hands I held a heavy, oval shaped obelisk. I felt so weary, I longed to drop it. "Brother your fear and your pain are such a heavy weight; why do you keep intact something that you should shatter with your own hands?" I said: "Remember when I got lost when me and you and daddy were hunting? I called and called and called for you, but even then my voice was soft and distant. You found me in a patch of ferns, holes in my shirt from wandering through the briars and coughing up blood. You led me home through the forest at night. Brother, lead me home Brother lead me home
6.	Been A Hard Winter Home 03:22	lyrics	buy track
Been a hard winter home Grass is hard with the frost I'm driving to find Something that I've lost You don't have much traction on a road slick with snow You just close your eyes and learn to let go You can hold it so tight Muscles tense in your hand You can pray to God to help you understand You can plan for today You can dream of tomorrow But, I'm going to a place Where there's no sickness of sorrow
7.	Someone Broke Into My Uncle's House 04:36	lyrics	buy track
Somebody broke into my uncle's house, dragged his wife by her hair and tied her hands behind her back. She was praying and begging for him to spare her life. He put the barrel of the gun in my uncle's mouth. He asked "where's the fucking safe," he kept asking "where's the fucking safe." My uncle told him "We don't have a safe, man. All our money's in the bank. Now, just get on out of here; I didn't see nobody's face." He put his gun against my aunt's head. He blew her brains out. He shot my uncle in my chest, then he fled into the night. You learn real young and you learn real fast that human life isn't worth much to human beings.
8.	I Saw the Light From Heaven Shining All Around 04:40	lyrics	buy track
I found a wounded wren Held it quivering in my hand I knew we were the same God gave me to understand Chorus: I saw the light from heaven Shining all around I saw the light come shining I saw the light come down Hunted by the police Crippled with his sins Where his hand ends Is where my hand begins Chorus The man that killed my uncle Desperate and alone The crimes that he commited I call those crimes my own Chorus Car near the interstate Dawn sky so harshly bright If you can bear to look up You'll see a bird in flight Chorus
9.	I'd Rather Be Down Some Dark Holler 04:16	lyrics	buy track
The dogs are all barking. Wonder who's coming up the driveway? I go into mom's room, but she's asleep. She doesn't know who's coming for me, she doesn't understand my dread. She hasn't seen me coughing up blood, she hasn't noticed that I'm short of breath. She's got her own weight to bear. When I seem down, she'll run her hands through my hair and tell me she understands. She doesn't know me. She only knows the person that life made me. I was laying in my bedroom one night and I saw the Angel of Death. She spoke in every language at once, but I understood what she said.
10.	Hard And Bright In My Chest 03:53	lyrics	buy track
God passed the cup to Jesus Christ Thus, he knew his time was nigh In the same silence and stillness of night I knew I was going to die Walking through the dark and lonesome forest I crushed the baby blue tears under my feet And I sensed that although they were broken They were still perfectly complete I hid my wound like an ugly secret Buried it so deep within my chest Until it bloomed and everyone saw it Shining hard and bright in my chest

about

"An Eastern Kentucky Boy's Death" is about a child dying to the world of men, dying to himself, dying to the misery of daily life and through the miracle of death being brought forth into a kind of coalescence with something beyond himself. All music and text were written, composed, performed and produced by Zack Kouns

credits

released November 8, 2012

Zack Kouns: Voice, Birdsong, Alto and Tenor Sax, Banjo, Violin, Double Drone Flute, Sitar, Harmonium, Drums, Guitar, Bass, Clarinet, Trumpet, Piano, Synthesizer, Electronics, Cello, Melodica, Duduk, Accordion, Processed Field Recordings